The Pride of the British Navy

Pop quiz: which is better, Brits getting emotional while running on the beach, or Brits getting emotional while rowing a boat? Lest I cry my little heart out over that Vangelis song, I'm putting Miracle at Oxford (a.k.a. "True Blue") at the top of my Netflix queue, ladies and gents, and I'm not the only one! IMDB has it at #12 in their list of movies involving a "boat race". (Sadly, it's well behind Pardon My Sarong.)

Wenches!

Hey, ladies, I mean persons, I mean wenches! If you're feeling Post this Halloween, consider the classic pirate wench costume, with which you can express your real love of pirates, amidst the cavalier misdirection of a fake rejection of liberal feminism.



This showed up in my Gmail ads, which means I was using the word "wench" one too many times in my emails. (Thanks, Samuel Pepys!)

pirate spiders?!

I'm sure you're all aware of the ginormous "communal spider web" that appeared in Lake Tawakoni State Park, near Dallas, this summer. Yes, yes, very good, you say, but what does this have to do with LEVIATHAN's proper purview? Well, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reports (in an article apparently written by a bright six-year-old) that the web was woven by a number of species working together, including something called a pirate spider.

Friends, how did we miss the boat, as it were, on the redoubtable pirate spider? For, it turns out, not only is there such a thing as a pirate spider, but said pirate spiders are actually cannibal pirate spiders. From the authorities at the Museum of Cape Town:

"At night it will vibrate the web, mimicking either captured prey or a courting male spider of the species that occupies the web. The duped spider will rush to investigate and once within reach, the mimetid will move forward with such stealth that the movement is barely noticeable. The four anterior legs are stretched over its prey and it is quickly drawn forward, its legs pinned down with the spines on the attackers forelegs. The mimetid then bites the prey in the femur, instantly immobilizing it. It is not known whether the bite kills or merely paralyzes. Bristow observed that if the prey is bitten on the body, a vigorous struggle ensues that requires an additional bite to the legs to subdue it."


yar!

Flying Shark Attack!

The Phantom of the Pepys

To be a famous diarist! (As is every blogger's dream ...) For consider the delight of being the namesake of a "phantom island", such as Pepys Island, off the coast of South America. Take care to distinguish the "phantom island" from the "lost land"; the former never existed, while the latter (supposedly) did, but was blown up and/or sunk and/or abducted by the Bermuda Triangle. (Kramer to Newman: "How come the water stays in the Bermuda Triangle?") And behold Frisland, which goes by many monikers, including (my favorite) "Fixland". The fix is in!



But that's where Atlantis is supposed to go! No wonder they don't exist.

Booty tunes for sharks.

From Ananova:

Sharks in the mood for love

German scientists say an experiment to play romantic music to sharks to get them in the mood for mating has been a swimming success.

Five Sea Life aquariums in Germany took part in the project after they complained that the sharks were not producing enough offspring.

Now after four weeks and two hours a day of different songs in each aquarium, the romantic tunes have had the desired effect.

And the aquariums have even produced a top five of the shark's favourite music for other aquariums to use.

A spokesman said: "We tried everything else, and it didn't work, so we took a new approach. It has been tried with pandas and primates, and it worked with them as well, so why not sharks?"

The music encouraged the sharks to engage in the rarely seen mating ritual where the male shark pursues the female and bites her fins.

The Hit list was:

1. Salt'n Pepa - Push it

2. Joe Cocker - You can leave your hat on

3. James Last - Traumschiff (title song for German version of the Love Boat)

4. Justin Timberlake - Rock your body

5. Bob Marley - No woman, no cry

I see a LEVIATHAN mix tape in our future...

A Long, Contaminated Life

That just about says it.