How shitty is too shitty?
Question of virtue: is there a maritime-themed movie that is too shitty to watch? Or, more urgently for someone in my current position, too shitty to watch instead of Sportscenter? Starting in a few minutes on cable:
1996's Down Periscope. Kelsey Grammar was high as a newborn kitten on cocaine during the production, filming, release, and mastering-to-DVD of this movie, and I can't say I dissaprove of that - the 90's were fucking awesome, and I think it was as good a time to celebrate as any. (Don't forget: crazy-fucked-up New Year's party at the GCB begins in T-minus-13-days, and counting.) But I don't know if I can live with myself if I watch this movie. Lord knows I saw it when it came out on VHS. Did I not do my part then?
1996's Down Periscope. Kelsey Grammar was high as a newborn kitten on cocaine during the production, filming, release, and mastering-to-DVD of this movie, and I can't say I dissaprove of that - the 90's were fucking awesome, and I think it was as good a time to celebrate as any. (Don't forget: crazy-fucked-up New Year's party at the GCB begins in T-minus-13-days, and counting.) But I don't know if I can live with myself if I watch this movie. Lord knows I saw it when it came out on VHS. Did I not do my part then?
posted by Allan Hazlett | 10:30 PM
5 Comments:
Operation Petticoat almost fits the bill, but is (sort of) saved by Tony Curtis's turn as a larcenous dandy.
Up periscope!!
This has been mentioned before, but I would also include Free Willy in the category of sea movies too shitty to watch, along with Waterworld.
Meanwhile, I would just like to mention that Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home--the Star Trek movie where they go back in time to 1890s San Francisco to save the hunchback whales--is a sea movie that is decidedly NOT shitty.
Oops--I meant to write 1980s San Francisco there.
The movie where the Star Trek crew goes back to 1890s San Fransisco is the one where they go back in time to hunt hunchback whales.
Ah yes, Star Trek XII: Boiled in Oil.
Which reminds me: does Judy Blume's Blubber qualify as LEVIATHAN fare? It taught me the word "flense" and is Moby Dick-like in its repleteness with naval lore.
Amazing Star Trek script (story by Keri Holt): they travel to 1890, and hunt whales, and then travel to 1980, and participate in a "Save the Whales" campaign, thus demonstrating the relativity of all moral judgments. Data/Spock vomits with disgust.
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